My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
there is glitter all over my balls
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
