i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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