Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
