He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
