Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
