It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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