I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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