I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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