her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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