He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
