why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
