Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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