I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
