She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
