Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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