What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
