You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
