I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
