I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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