we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize