it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
