can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
