That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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