So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You need a sexual gate keeper
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
