I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
All the doctor said was why
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
