So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
