I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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