i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
