Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize