i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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