I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
