you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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