She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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