I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
