She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize