My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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