its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
