we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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