brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I wish there were birth control emojis
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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