this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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