the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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