Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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