A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
