Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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