i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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