My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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