The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
