i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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