Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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