i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
