Plan B is the new Plan A
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize
