I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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