Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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