Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize