Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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