i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
