U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
