There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
