Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
