this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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