it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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