I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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