Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize