I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
