She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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