I love black thongs
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
